'Good lord, Jerry Lewis is honorary Speaker Pro Temp. today? How much time are we going to waste on this bullshit?!'
Lupe Fiasco in a bid to replace Kevin Eubanks declared that Barack Obama was the the worst terrorist in the world.
'I was just daydreaming about physically handicapped people having to walk an extra 100 ft. to the entrance of a Save-A-Lot.'
In an effort to reduce civilian casualties, the U.S. is limiting its remote drone strikes against top terror suspects solely to those residing on the moon.
President Barack Obama makes a surprise guest appearance on the new Will Arnett sitcom 'Up All Night'.
A resilient Indian Shaman tries his best to maraca up the remains of his once great civilization.
'And furthermore, I paid over thirty dollars to see the Dark Knight. I ordered it on Netflix via mail, and one of my curriers erred in returning it and it was a three month ordeal and eventually Netflix 'forgave' me for the missing disc, but still I paid thirty fucking dollars to see TDN on a television screen. There is no justice in this world.'
George W. Bush made a stop at Tim. Erline & MSE 90 on his 'I don't care about black people' tour.
'Peanut' cologne proved to be a huge failure this week.
William and Kate are looking for servants. Literally, they are scouring the streets for any plebeians they see fit to do their bidding. It is still English law that they can choose whomever they want to perform whatever task they wish. I hope I get picked for 'dogcatcher'!!