Untertainment Weakly (7-8-2011)

By Jake 

“Bridesmaids” has overtaken “Sex and the City” as the highest-grossing female comedy of all time. Hey, that’s even more qualifiers than it took “Hangover 2” to become the number one highest grossing R-rated comedy of all time. It's one more qualifier.

Charlie Sheen will be roasted on television for the Comedy Central network. No word on how much crack cocaine they gave him to solidify this deal.

James Spader has joined the cast of “The Office,” the remake of a BBC series starring Ricky Gervais.

PETA has raised concerns over the film “The Zookeeper.” The concerns aren’t over any animal rights violations, but rather of the film’s apparent low quality.

Charlie Sheen’s new TV series will be based on the film “Anger Management,” which started Jack Nicholson and Adam Sandler. Sheen will play the Nicholson role, while his battered wife will play the Sandler role.

Movies Out Today
The Zookeeper - Kevin James is a fat idiot who works at a zoo. The animals talk to him in order to help him get laid. Yes, this is actually the plot, as seen in the two minute trailer before the episode of “Melissa and Joey” that Glenn had me watch four minutes of. This movie is going to be the shits. Why would anybody want to see it? Maybe if they’re brain damaged, I guess. If you see this movie, you will die.

Horrible Bosses - This movie stars Jennifer Aniston , Jason Batemen and others. I heard that this is actually a good movie. It was “certified fresh” on Rotten Tomatoes. The dying Roger Ebert gave it 3.5 stars! I think Jennifer Aniston gets topless in this movie, at least shed does according to the terrible Huffington Post entertainment news feed. This is a good summer for hard R comedies and that’s fine by me. I have pretty much seen ever comedy film on Netflix Instant at this point, besides a handful of classics--which are on my queue. See this movie if you must and skip “The Zookeeper” because you are an intelligent person who would never use the word “fugly.”

Other Thoughts
The term “girl crush” is so stupid.

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5 comments:

  1. It's the same amount of qualifiers! I'm with PETA on The Zookeeper!! Thanks Jake!!!

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  2. james spader was fucking hilarious on the office season finale, but NOT AS FUNNY AS MELISSA AND JOEY!!!

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  3. Haha! He was really great!! He'll be replacing Kathy Bates? I hope I've got that right because I never 'took' to her character

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  4. Yeah, he's replacing Bates. I didn't say it because I don't watch The Office anymore. Although, apparently you two TiVo every episode.

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  5. I SAW ZOOKEEPER AND IT WAS SO FUNNY

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