Untertainment Weakly (8-19-2011)

By Jake 

MTV Canceled “The Hard Times of R.J. Berger.” If you are sad about this cancellation, then you are probably too young to be on the internet unsupervised.

That sound is me vomitting due to the announcement of “Austin Powers 4.”

Unsurprisingly, The “Glee” performance film bombed. It opened outside of the top 10.

Kevin Smith is making a four-hour hockey epic for some reason. It will be his last film, mercifully.

Another shitty Bridget Jones sequel is in the works.

Shaq wants to direct. This is a decision I am 100% behind.

“Children’s Hospital” has been renewed for another season to shoot later this year and air in 2012.

Ridley Scott has signed on to another “Blade Runner” movie. Terrible.

Sarah Silverman’s sitcom is headed NBC. NBC ordered a pilot, and if it doesn’t air the show it faces financial penalties.

Movies Out Today
Spy Kids: All the Time in the World - “Spy Kids” is a series that is founded in fantasy; kids cannot be spies. Kids are too stupid and loud to accurately spy. Though, in modern times the government will even train dolphins to do spying, so what do I know? This flick will have some sort of scratch and sniff card gimmick. I would really shit on this movie, but Robert Rodriguez directs a lot of fun movies and this is surely a trade-off for one of those--maybe another “Machete”?

Conan the Barbarian - Hey, finally something original that has never been done before. Go support this movie or Hollywood will never make anything that hasn’t been made fifty times since the advent of film barely over 100 years ago. I wonder where the writer got the idea for this movie. He was probably smoking some real strong weed. How else could something think up a concept like a barbarian named Conan? Who wrote this movie: Tommy Chong?

Fright Night - Good thing they didn’t wait for Halloween to release this unwaranted remake. The real “Fright Night” is a really great film about a vampire moving next door to a guy and his girlfriend trying to convince him that vampires don’t exist when he starts getting distracted from her. It is funny and scary. This movie seems like it will be another movie trying to leach off of the success of the “Twilight” series. “Twilight” sucked. Vampires do not play fucking baseball. If you want a truly original film, go see “Conan the Barbarian.”

Other Thoughts
Did not watch any films this week. I watched a lot of “Frasier” and have been reading P.G. Wodehouse’s “How Right You Are, Jeeves.” “Frasier” is one of the funniest traditional sitcoms. It is like “Three’s Company,” but everybody is pretentious. P.G. Wodehouse is a fantastic comedy writer and his books are slicker than the Gulf of Mexico last summer.

4 comments:

  1. Hearing The Hard Times of R.J. Berger is canceled has officially ruined my weekend.

    I am glad you are reading the story of AskJeeves.com!

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  2. This was really funny! So, The Sarah Silverman Program is going to be on NBC?! I finally watched Zach & Miri Make A Porno and it was good enough (Glenn watched it too)!!

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  3. It's a different Sarah Silverman show. I'm sure it won't be as weird as the SSP. Probably more of a traditional sitcom, but who knows with NBC.

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  4. Yeah, but the new Fright Night has McLovin and the 10th Doctor from Doctor Who. That deserves points. My geekdar is going superhawt over this film.

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