Life with Mikey #100 (Special Issue)

By Mikey

Alphabet soup doesn’t give you enough vowels.

They used to tell people to keep on truckin’, then they stopped saying it and now nobody trucks anymore.

I would never look a gorilla in the eyes.

Why is there a knife just for butter?

I don’t see why people love Ronald Reagan. His movies are terrible.

Does anybody find it odd that our lord was born in a barn?

Remember that commercial where a person was about to die and somebody asked them what they wanted on their tombstone and they thought it was a pizza? Who would eat a Tombstone Pizza? They suck!

I wouldn’t argue that one can learn some lessons from the Incredible Hulk comic books, but I wouldn’t compare them to the Bible.

Shamu is the most popular whale, but who is the most popular otter?

My Favorite Martian is my least favorite martian.

Scrooge McDuck controls 99% of the wealth in Duckburg.

Calling an immitator a copycat is like calling a black person the n-word.

I don’t understand prostitutes. It’s probably all of the slang they use.


  1. The "Tombstone" one is one of my favorites. I was waiting months (maybe even a year) to post it.

  2. The Ronald Reagan is the first thing, out of your last 100 columns, that I agree with. But then you completely undermined it by your class warfare comment about Scrooge McDuck.