Untertainment Weakly (12-02-11)

By Jake

Louis C.K. will be returning to “Parks & Recreation.”


In other “Parks & Recreation” news, Kathryn Hahn, of the recently cancelled “Free Agents,” is joining the cast for a story arc.


Brent McKenzie says that there may be a “Flight of the Conchords” movie.


“Community” won the “TV Guide” readers’ poll and will be/is on the cover.  They also got a small ratings bump on last night's episode.


Bryan Singer (the first two “X-Men” movies) will direct “The Munsters” reboot pilot.  And this show is going to be a one-hour drama instead of a sitcom.  Seriously?  Fuck you NBC.


Patrice O’Neal died from complications from a stroke.  He was a comedian and wrote for WWE for two years.


Fox released its midseason schedule.  “Bob’s Burgers” doesn’t premiere until March 11th, with a full season order.  Also, for some reason there’s a “Napolean Dynamite” cartoon.


Other Thoughts
Well, no new films opened this weekend.  This is the first weekend since I started writing this article that this has happened.  What am I supposed to do now?  I guess I could remind you not to see “Jack & Jill,” but I doubt you have or will.  I could urge you to see “The Muppets,” because it was really fun and is the best reviewed movie of 2011.  Or, I could do this:


Top 10 Worst Movies I Have Ever Seen
10. “Jocks (1987)” - Now, I don’t remember watching this film, but this line in the review I wrote of it tells me that it belongs on this list: “One of the keywords on IMDB is "kicked in the crotch," and that's exactly what it felt like when I watched this piece of shit.”

9. “Robocop 3” - From my review, which I live blogged to Twitter as I watched: “As crazy as it might sound, I think Robocop just converted to Christianity. #robocop3”

8. "Paranormal Activity" - If I wanted to watch people sleep for an hour and a half, I would head over to the YMCA.  Boring film.

7. "Robot Ninja" - The Robot Ninja is not a robot or a ninja, it's just a dude who doesn't know how to fight.  This movie is very gory and very bad.

6. "The Grudge" - Super boring Japanese horror movie remake starring Sarah Michelle Gellar.  Everything in this movie happens so slowly.

5. "Fast Food - When Jim Varney is the best part of a movie you know you're watching some real shit.

4. “Cocktail” - From my review: "This is possibly the worst movie I have ever seen. I tried to think of something nice to say about it and all I could come up with is that the cameras were in focus the whole film."

3. “House of 1,000 Corpses” - Inaccurate title--I only saw 300 corpses at most--weird edits between film and grainy video, and it is basically a remake of “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” or any other “freaky family” movie from the 70s or 80s.

2. “The Runaways” - This movie sucked on pretty much every level.  It’s boring, inaccurate and people praise it.  Fuck every person who liked this film.

1. “I Spit on Your Grave” - This movie is at least half rape scenes.  I’m not sure why, but rape makes me uncomfortable.

2 comments:

  1. You should try to watch the remake of ISOYG - it is only 30-40% rape scenes and 10% of it is people doing pratfalls. The bloopers after the credits had the theatres rolling in the aisles when I saw it.

    There really aren't any wide release movies coming out this week! WTF?

    ReplyDelete
  2. There's several art house movies coming out today!

    ReplyDelete