The World Post - Illinois Primary Edition

By Bub 

Mitt Romney tried to relate to voters in Chicago yesterday by relaying the anecdote about the time he ate a hot dog.

Taking a cue from the success of the Kony 2012 viral internet video, Lana Del Rey has changed her name to Lana Del Genocide.

Rick Santorum doubled down on his controversial stance on women's reproductive rights by unveiling his plan to require women to care for their aborted fetuses until the time when they would have reached the age of eighteen.

Newt Gingrich appealed to Peoria voters ahead of today's Republican primary in Illinois, promising manufacturing companies a tax credit for every Palestinian home their equipment is used to destroy.

British Parliament held a special election this week voting Meryl Streep the U.K.'s first foreign national Prime Minister.

Gen. James Mattis, commander of American forces in the Middle East, lost in thought about the one honor that has escaped him - the love of his father.

Tim Geitner stunned journalists at a press conference Monday by detailing how the U.S. Treasury Department orchestrated the September 11th attacks.

Mike Daisey admitted to lying in his exposé on working conditions in computer manufacturer Apple's factories in China. The Chinese government set the record straight explaining that there were no underage workers in Chinese factories, no workers were poisoned by manufacturing chemicals, and that technically China didn't even exist.

James Brown was arrested in Mauritania over the weekend on a warrant issued from the International Criminal Court for war crimes committed in Libya.

Finally, murder was legalized last week in the State of Florida.

1 comment:

  1. We don't live in a free country until murder is legalized in every state.


no more comments from spam bots. fuck off.

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.