Untertainment Weakly (5-11-12)

By Jake

Tom Cruise has signed on to a Van Helsing reboot.

Sofia Vergara has joined “Machete Kills.”

Jessica Chastain has dropped out of “Iron Man 3.”  Rebecca Hall has taken the role.

NBC has ordered “New Normal” and “Save Me” to series.

Rob Lowe will star in a Casey Anthony movie.

Fox picked up the Mindy Kaling sitcom “It’s Messy,” “Ben & Kate,” and “The Goodwin Games.”

Brittney Spears has signed a $15 million deal to judge “The X Factor.”

Paul F. Tompkins has a new web series called “Speak Easy.”

NBC has ordered new (13 episode) seasons of “Parks and Recreation,” “30 Rock” and “Community.”  This will be the last season for “30 Rock.”  And there is an option to pick up the other nine episodes for any of these shows.  “Parenthood” has also been renewed.

Fox has ordered new seasons for “Bob’s Burgers,” “American Dad” and “Family Guy.”

“Cougar Town” has been renewed by TBS.

Amy Poehler and Paul Rudd as set to star in “We Came Together,” a romantic comedy parody written by Michael Showalter and David Wain.  Fantastic!

Fox has cancelled “I Hate my Teenage Daughter” and “Breaking In.”  

Kurt Russell and Sacha Baron Cohen have left Quentin Tarrantino’s “Django Unchained.”

Jean-Luc Goddard is planning on making a 3D movie about a talking dog, I think.

Matthew Perry Watch

Check out this "Go On" promotional picture that Matty P. tweeted:

Movies Out This Weekend

Dark Shadows - I know people are going to see this.  I have come to terms with it.  Personally, I think Tim Burton is sort of shitty.  He is "artistic," which means he dresses like a moron and makes films that cutters enjoy.  The film that I really enjoy by him is "Ed Wood," and the rest of his films are shitty, in my opinion.  "Dark Shadows" is the movie version of a popular campy soap opera.  Yeah, sounds really fucking interesting, right?  Pure bullshit.  Fuck Tim Burton.

Movies I Watched This Week

Avengers 10/10

The Sitter 6/10

Song of the Week