CBS has renewed “Two and a Half Men.”
The CW has canceled “The Ringer” and “The Secret Circle.” But they renewed “Gossip Girl” for a final season. So breathe easy, fans.
“Smurfs 3” is happening, tying up all of the loose ends from the as yet released “Smurfs 2.”
Warner Bros. wants a “Contagion” sequel.
NBC has caneceled “Are You There, Chelsea?” “Bent,” “Awake,” and, sadly, “Best Friends Forever.” Yet, they picked up Dane Cook’s sitcom.
“GCB” is canceled, saddening Christian bitches everywhere. “Don’t Trust the B-- in Apt. 23” was renewed, as was Tim Allen’s show “Last Man Standing.”
NBC has also canceled some bullshit reality/game shows: “Minute to Win It,” “Fear Factor,” “Who do you Think You Are?” and “The Sing Off.”
NBC has moved “Community” to Fridays for the next season and will follow “Whitney.”
Adult Swim has announced the fourth season of “The Boondocks.” Kaleena will be happy.
MTV has canceled “I Just Want My Pants Back.” No pants will be given back.
Jon Woo is remaking the classic jazz-infused Japanese mafia film “Youth of the Beast.” I wish you could have heard my cry of pain when I read this news. “Youth of the Beast” is one of my favorite films, and while I do love Woo, this dude needs to stop remaking shit.
TBS is developing a new talk/cultural news show for our hero Norm Macdonald.
Adult Swim will be producing a “Harold & Kumar” cartoon and a Dan Harmon created show called “Rick & Morty.”
Matthew Perry Watch
Matthew Perry's new sitcom "Go On" is officially on NBC's fall schedule. I am dripping excitement, or maybe it is a sweat due to the three miles I just ran to curb my anxiety over having to wait all summer to see this excellent show.
Movies Out This Weekend
The Dictator - See this! It is pretty much guaranteed to be very funny. Sacha Baron Cohen has yet to make a bad movie (out of his characters). Yes, I even liked the stupid Ali G movie.
Battleship - This movie is an IQ test. If you see it, then you have a low IQ and you will receive government funding due to your mental disability. Really, fuck you if you see this movie. I hope it bombs harder than the aliens (what?) bomb the Battleships in the trailer for this piece of shit. You will die if you see this movie.
What to Expect When You’re Expecting - This is the infamous movie that stars a lot of good people, but looks absolutely terrible based off of the trailer. It has Tom Lennon, Rob Huebel, Chris Rock, Jennifer Lopez, Cameron Diaz, Elizabeth Banks and Dennis Quaid. Maybe it doesn’t have a lot of good people in it.
Movies I Watched This Week
House Party 8/10
A Good Old Fashioned Orgy 6/10
Song of the Week