By Glenn
What a night! Between Obama's self-deprecation, Romney's self-urination, Candy Crowley's self-aggrandizing and a Howard Stern fan shouting Bababooey from the audience, this was a great time to be a fan of American democracy. President Hitler had a lot of work to do in winning over the .08% left of our brain-dead undecided electorate and by most accounts on MySpace he did it. Romney got his points in too though, pointing out gas prices have increased in the past few years and that Obama is black.
As a somewhat disaffected likely Obama voter, it pained me to watch him flounder in the first debate - for the sake of him, his campaign and that it meant Romney's "ideas" obtain implicit legitimacy when no one is around to forcefully challenge them. I watched the first debate with the same crew as the one tonight: a bunch of liberal to super liberal people fairly engaged in politics. You know the type. They hoot and holler when Obama launches a zinger and they boo and hiss when Romney starts throwing money at the debate moderator. I get it, but I don't necessarily like it. I prefer a thoughtful, even-handed response to everything both candidates say, like the following tweets from last night:
Part of me hates the debates: the reductionist tribalism, the soundbites, the lying, the "spin room," the sexual tension, the intermittent hum just soft enough no one else notices, the pandering, the idiotic time limits, no one respecting the time limits and the fact all of my favorite low culture sitcoms on network TV are preempted. This isn't even getting into the issue of allowing third party candidates on the stage. What, were they afraid Gary Johnson was going to light up a joint and declare OBummerCare unconstitutional?
For all the valid criticisms, I still love that for 3 times every 4 years, some low information people are forced to at least hear about issues in the campaign while they committing non-felonious acts of beastiality. This is good for USA. Also, on what other occasion can political types like myself get together with others to watch two motherfuckers talk about tax policy and it hold the same festive appeal as the Super Bowl or the Pope's death? The debates bring us pithy one liners (like Bush asking if you need some wood) that candidates have been "practicing for months" but they can also deal with policy.
Let's look at the list of what was covered last night:
Outside of that, the debate was a lot of fun. We didn't hear any substantive answers to the impending collapse of the American economy or the certain worldwide war that will destroy our planet in the next 20-30 years, but that's not what this campaign is about. This campaign is about the simple question: are you better off than you were four years ago? One Year in Texas didn't exist in 2008 so the answer is absolutely, unequivocally YES.
What a night! Between Obama's self-deprecation, Romney's self-urination, Candy Crowley's self-aggrandizing and a Howard Stern fan shouting Bababooey from the audience, this was a great time to be a fan of American democracy. President Hitler had a lot of work to do in winning over the .08% left of our brain-dead undecided electorate and by most accounts on MySpace he did it. Romney got his points in too though, pointing out gas prices have increased in the past few years and that Obama is black.
As a somewhat disaffected likely Obama voter, it pained me to watch him flounder in the first debate - for the sake of him, his campaign and that it meant Romney's "ideas" obtain implicit legitimacy when no one is around to forcefully challenge them. I watched the first debate with the same crew as the one tonight: a bunch of liberal to super liberal people fairly engaged in politics. You know the type. They hoot and holler when Obama launches a zinger and they boo and hiss when Romney starts throwing money at the debate moderator. I get it, but I don't necessarily like it. I prefer a thoughtful, even-handed response to everything both candidates say, like the following tweets from last night:
Obama just bit the head off a bat and he's staring directly at the camera letting the blood dribble out of his mouth. #debate2012
— ryan woodsmall (@rwoodsmall) October 17, 2012
Mitt Romney just fucked a big pile of coal and wiped his cock with a $100 bill.
— jakefm (@jakefm) October 17, 2012
attn everyone rushing to create parody twitter accounts based on moments in the debate: stop and think about what youre doing w/ your lives
— max read (@max_read) October 4, 2012
I was in coal country. People said, ‘please, cure my 8y.o. daughter’s black lung!’ And I said ‘fuck you, hillbilly.’ - Mitt w/ tough love
— a love-shy teen (@bryanrh) October 17, 2012
Romney: I’d like to clear up a misconception about me, proliferated by this administration: I am NOT a militant atheist.
— a love-shy teen (@bryanrh) October 17, 2012
Romney wants the 9/11 truth and Obama only wants to give 9/11 lies.
— jakefm (@jakefm) October 17, 2012
Romany just said he would take away drivers licenses from immigrants, children, WIZARDS and blind people. Unbelievable!
— glenn (@glenn_ebooks) October 17, 2012
people should marry guns
— Alex Pareene (@pareene) October 17, 2012
Anyone else's screen just go negative? Hearing some Aramaic shit muttered. Obama and Romney are docking? Don't understand this. #debate2012
— ryan woodsmall (@rwoodsmall) October 17, 2012
Romney just said gun violence was “solemn gift from Xenu to all Mormon citizens of the United States.” Unbelievable!
— glenn (@glenn_ebooks) October 17, 2012
"The president prepped for this debate by watching the will-they-or-won't-they electricity of the hit ABC series Castle." - Alex Castellanos
— Mobutu Sese Seko (@Mobute) October 17, 2012
Part of me hates the debates: the reductionist tribalism, the soundbites, the lying, the "spin room," the sexual tension, the intermittent hum just soft enough no one else notices, the pandering, the idiotic time limits, no one respecting the time limits and the fact all of my favorite low culture sitcoms on network TV are preempted. This isn't even getting into the issue of allowing third party candidates on the stage. What, were they afraid Gary Johnson was going to light up a joint and declare OBummerCare unconstitutional?
For all the valid criticisms, I still love that for 3 times every 4 years, some low information people are forced to at least hear about issues in the campaign while they committing non-felonious acts of beastiality. This is good for USA. Also, on what other occasion can political types like myself get together with others to watch two motherfuckers talk about tax policy and it hold the same festive appeal as the Super Bowl or the Pope's death? The debates bring us pithy one liners (like Bush asking if you need some wood) that candidates have been "practicing for months" but they can also deal with policy.
Let's look at the list of what was covered last night:
- Obama said Pell Grants were good. Romney said they were unconstitutional.
- Mitt Romney never said "let Detroit go bankrupt." Instead, he wanted it to be destroyed through decades of deindustrialization.
- Mitt Romney said Obama doesn't like oil, natural gas and coal. Obama jumped up on Candy Crowley's desk and started shitting clean coal.
- Obama says Romney's math on tax cuts doesn't add up. Romney says it does and our entire civilization's understanding of mathematics collapses instantaneously.
- Romney lied about looking through a binder of full of women, but did hire more transgender M2F than any other governor in Massachusetts history.
Outside of that, the debate was a lot of fun. We didn't hear any substantive answers to the impending collapse of the American economy or the certain worldwide war that will destroy our planet in the next 20-30 years, but that's not what this campaign is about. This campaign is about the simple question: are you better off than you were four years ago? One Year in Texas didn't exist in 2008 so the answer is absolutely, unequivocally YES.
