By Keelin
Good morning, brains. Congratulations -- you are the only organ in the human body that can read and enjoy OYIT (pending FDA approval of the new consciousness-enhancing drug for spleens).
It's been a week of shocking news for the body's third most important part. For all you aimless twenty-somethings, we learned that your listless, pathetic ways aren't your fault but simply a function of cortical development. So don't feel bad the next time your parents pay your rent and you spend the day reading Craigslist Missed Connections. It's what your brain wants!
We also learned that football is bad for your brain, a fact you can confirm by attending your high school reunion and finding out what your school's former quarterback is up to.
Today's Brain Forecast
Keep your head warm -- brains hate the cold! Oh, wait, your brain has no nerve endings, so it can't sense temperature or pain. In that case, do whatever you want.
Today's Brain Fact
"Experts" say we may be able to reverse engineer a human brain by the year 2020! The first brain we'll try to re-create? Famed reality show personality Kim Kardashian.
Today's Famous Brain
After the death of noted Soviet leader and premature baldy Vladimir Lenin, scientists removed his brain to examine it for signs of genius. Which is exactly what they found, if by "genius" you mean "neurosyphilis."
Today's Brain Prediction
No matter how many artificial improvements you make to your brain, your neighbor will still beat you at Settlers of Catan.
Good morning, brains. Congratulations -- you are the only organ in the human body that can read and enjoy OYIT (pending FDA approval of the new consciousness-enhancing drug for spleens).
It's been a week of shocking news for the body's third most important part. For all you aimless twenty-somethings, we learned that your listless, pathetic ways aren't your fault but simply a function of cortical development. So don't feel bad the next time your parents pay your rent and you spend the day reading Craigslist Missed Connections. It's what your brain wants!
We also learned that football is bad for your brain, a fact you can confirm by attending your high school reunion and finding out what your school's former quarterback is up to.
Today's Brain Forecast
Keep your head warm -- brains hate the cold! Oh, wait, your brain has no nerve endings, so it can't sense temperature or pain. In that case, do whatever you want.
Today's Brain Fact
"Experts" say we may be able to reverse engineer a human brain by the year 2020! The first brain we'll try to re-create? Famed reality show personality Kim Kardashian.
Today's Famous Brain
After the death of noted Soviet leader and premature baldy Vladimir Lenin, scientists removed his brain to examine it for signs of genius. Which is exactly what they found, if by "genius" you mean "neurosyphilis."
Today's Brain Prediction
No matter how many artificial improvements you make to your brain, your neighbor will still beat you at Settlers of Catan.
