Characters: Landy and Trish. They are both 29 years old. Landy is a boy, Trish is a girl.
Show opens with Landy and Trish sitting down at a small table in a Starbucks-esque cafe. They both have paper cups filled with hot coffee. Landy is wearing a scarf and Vans sneakers. Trish just took off her scarf. She is wearing Chuck Taylors, she also has thick legs.
Landy: (yawning) Oh dear God. What time is it now?
Trish: (looks at her watch) It's 7.
Landy: Human beings shouldn't be up this early, and neither should I!
Trish:(laughs) As if you aren't human. Uhhh, I'd believe that!
Landy: I'm from a different planet. One where everybody gets to sleep all the fucking day!
Trish: Uhh, I'd visit that planet!
Landy: I hate you for being so chipper at this time of day.
Trish: Oh trust me, I should be a zombie right now. Thanks to this coffee, I'm able to function.
Landy: You had a head start?
Trish: Two cups before I even met you here!
Landy: Lucky. (sips coffee) Ahhh. Sweet exlicer - be in me!
Trish: Landy, you are too much.
Landy: Coffee is the one and only reason why I'm still on the fence about whether or not God exists. Coffee and scarves.
Trish: When it opens, we should check out that new art museum that also sells vinyl records.
Landy: Me need more coff-coff first.
Trish: (laughs) Coff-Coff! Is that the language you speak on your planet?
Landy: Yes. (shares laughter with Trish) My name is Landy.
Trish: We are wearing scarves.
Landy and Trish: Coffee wakes us up!
Lights dim.
Haha! Very funny play, Scott. I would go to a museum that also sold records. I would go there to burn the m-f'er down.
ReplyDeleteHAHAHA!!! I had one more ha + all caps + two more exclamation marks than Jake did. That is how much I loved this. If I was in Clockwork Orange I would listen to the audio version of this while masturbating before drinking acid-laced milk and raping old women.
ReplyDeleteThis is really one of the best things on OYIT. Write MORE Scott!!!!
ReplyDelete