Good Morning from OYIT [Friday February 6th] (with call to action)

By Glenn

Good morning. I hope no one is hungover after the One Year in Texas One Month Anniversary party last night. For those of you who missed the party, it was online - and almost as wild as the comments section of yesterday's anniversary post! By the way, if you didn't catch that post you can read it here. For new readers to the site it's a great way to catch up on everything you've missed thus far. Even regular readers who've only been reading my columns because of personal appeal will find something for themselves. Check out the anniversary post and the clicks therein before you do anything else today. You will be surprised what you find.

[I won't mention any names of the aforementioned people until the two month anniversary post, so if you've only been reading Good Morning posts, you have 30 days to make amends.]

Today's Weather
I haven't been this excited to have something from down south come up north since I worked on the Underground Railroad. As then, this southern heat wave brings with it a certain kind of freedom - not from slavery or plantational tyranny, but from coats and expensive heating bills. I implore all of my cousins on the western edge of the real Midwest and in the Great Plains: the Great Depression may have destroyed our way of life eighty years ago, but let's enjoy this unseasonably warm weather while industries that escaped ruin decades ago now find themselves withering on the vine.

Today's Weather (in Southeast Missouri)
All week in these weather reports, Jake and I have tried to ignore the carnage in the southeastern corner of our grate state. But like Schindler and his list in the movie of the same name, I can no longer simply "go along" with what the powers that be want. People are dying there.
The State Emergency Management Agency reports a total of eight fatalities now. Six people died on icy roads last week ... two more people died in New Madrid County from carbon monoxide poisoning while running a generator in their garage.
Even worse, approximately 163,000 homes are without power. They can't turn on their TV to find which of their neighbors have died from carbon monoxide poisoning or who is, among all this carnage, still romantically walking along icy roads with semi-downed power lines looming overhead. Take today to be thankful you're in the middle of a heat wave and not an ice storm.

Today's Political Action

Right now the forces of tax cuts and evil are flooding your Senators' offices with angry diatribes against the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act. OYIT has been known for months month by its brutal political honesty and this won't be different: I admit under usual circumstances, phone calls to your federal representatives from a lone stranger don't have much affect. However, these aren't usual circumstances and you aren't a stranger to me. We must fight back against those who seek to keep the derailed train that is America from finding its way back onto the tracks of economic recovery. The word "recovery" is in the name of the actual bill! We can help make this happen with phone calls.


Dial 1-866-544-7573. You will be given brief instructions (which you can skip by pressing “1”) then forwarded to the Congressional switchboard operator. Tell the operator which state you’re from, and ask to be connected to one of your senators.


Tell Your Senators: "Vote for a strong economic recovery bill that creates jobs and immediate economic opportunities for the people of your state."
These instructions are so simple that even Jim Bunning (R-KY), can figure them out! He is one Senator currently dealing with senility and dementia, and unless you want to join him by the time OYIT's two month anniversary rolls around I suggest you pick up a phone and mash those buttons like this is an old pro wrestling game for the Super Nintendo.

Today's Prediction

Calls from OYIT readership will drive the stimulus bill to successful package. However, money set to help southeastern Missouri will get frozen in transit and won't be discovered until the year 8022 by Sean Astin and Pauly Shore.


  1. You guys changed the "about" description! I don't know how I feel about this. Tina Casagrande's endorsement was really the only reason I visited the site.

  2. Two things:

    Your use of train metaphors and references is going to drive readership up among my stepfather.

    Also, I called my state senator, but I just yelled "Baba Booey, Baba Booey, Howard Stern Rules, Baba Booey!" into the phone, but I think the message got across.

  3. A third thing:

    Tina Casagrand repealed her endorsement after she read my Firefox article and asked me kindly to take it down. If you guys want the "About Us" section changed so badly then come up with something to put there that has nothing to do with Tina Casagrand or Firefox add-ons!

  4. "The word "recovery" is in the name of the actual bill! We can help make this happen with phone calls."

    It worked!!! Good job OYIT readership! Maybe we can get that stimulus bill specifically for OYIT readers passed finally.