Showing posts with label Mall. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mall. Show all posts

Overheard at the Mall [Cartoon Special]

By Jake

Back to the mall for another installment of snippets of peoples conversations at the shopping mall. This is a special week as I have collected some Cartoon themed overhearings.


  • "Yogi Bear is the best: Yogi's Ark, Ranger Smith, Boo Boo, Wacky Races...You just can't beat that bear!"

  • "Like I care about your fuckin' Thundercats lunchbox." (A mother to her son, exiting Hot Topic)

  • "Marry, Fuck, Kill: Andy Capp, Hagar the Horrible and Snuffy Smith."

  • "El Kabong!" (yelled very loudly before a security guard is hit in the head with a guitar)

  • "Who was the other cat on Heathcliff?" (answered in a previous post).

  • "Of course Casey Jones could have beat Baxter. Baxter was just a giant nerd bug. Casey Jones was a vigilante with a hockey mask, like Jason Voorhees."

  • "...yeah, he's the guy who did the Teenwolf cartoon..." (just caught this portion).

  • "Land Before Time VI was better than VII, but VIII is by far my favorite." (Said by a 35 year old woman to her husband.)

    • Overheard at the Mall

    By Jake

    I spent much of last night with my ears wide open at the local mall. While sitting with my notebook firmly in hand, I encountered some seriously odd snippets of conversation.


  • "Where is the kiosk for sunglasses?"

  • "This bitch gets all in my face waving her Lisa Frank folder like her shit don't stink..." (said by a 12 year old girl)

  • "Where the fuck can I find fishing lures up in this motherfucker?" (said by a solitary man out of anger and confusion)

  • "I have a bet with my friend: are you Gerald McRaney?"

  • "3 churros later..."

  • "You're out of Alfredo pizza? What is this: Nazi Germany!?!?"

  • "If I eat one more Maidrite sandwich I'm going to vomit blood."

  • "The only band anyone ever talks about anymore is Depeche Mode."

    • Overheard at the Mall

    By Jake

    This has become a fairly popular feature. I honestly don't know why, but I give the people what they want. If they want things I hear at the mall, then so be it!


  • "Evening Shade: The Band!" (A man shouted this)

  • "If I try on one more polo shirt I'm going to hang myself." (said by a 50 year old man to his wife)

  • "Mighty Mouse could easily defeat Underdog. Underdog is a faggot." (said by the same 50 year old man to his wife)

  • "Of course the Orange Julius is great, but have you tried the Strawberry Julius? It's fabulous!"

  • "Where does one find a Reader's Digest in this series of stores?" (asked by a mustachioed man to a security guard)

  • "You basically have to special order a unicycle this day and age."

  • "Check out my Street Sharks tattoo, dude."

  • "I would literally kill a homeless person for some Panda Express right now." (said by a 20 year old girl)

  • "Julius Caesar was not as great as the salad that is named after him."


    • Overheard at the Mall

    By Jake


    • "I would love the Dancehall Crashers if they weren't a ska band."

    • "Vice Versa and Like Father Like Son are totally different. I mean, come on dick!" (Said by 35 year old man to his son)

    • "I'm gonna eat so many fuckin' Maid Rite sandwiches!" (Said by a teen boy who was very hungry)

    • "No, Jason didn't kill anybody in Friday the 13th part 1, it was his mom. The reboot is revisionist history."

    • "They should make a Hungry Hungry Hippos video game, daddy." (Said by a child on his way into Game Stop)

    • "Fuck yeah I've heard the new Coldplay, I'm not stupid!"

    Overheard at the Mall

    By Jake

    10. "After this Orange Julius, let's go get some wallet chains from Hot Topic."

    9. "Face/Off was way better than Broken Arrow, hands down."

    8. "Marsupilami? I'm more of a Bonkers kind of guy."

    7. "You sunk my battleship." (Near the Battleship tournament being held at the mall)

    6. "That photo booth took my last dollar!" (Yelled at a confused security guard)

    5. "I'm going to get my eyebrows threaded and I don't give a shit what my mom says about it."

    4. "Sbarro pizza always gives me explosive diarrhea." (said by me)

    3. "What store sells those t-shirts with the Looney Toons in baggy clothing?"

    2. "That was my last Lik-a-Stick, asshole!"

    1. "I only sucked his dick on the school bus once. Whoever told you that was a lying." (said by a 14 year old girl)