Good morning from OYIT [June 22, 2009]

By Ingrid
This morning is inspired by…KITTENS!!
Pretty much everyone who knows what the Internet is has seen this video by now (in both YouTube years and cat years, it’s well beyond middle age), but I continue to come back to it in moments of weakness. Well, this is a moment of weakness if ever there was one, readers [DON’T ASK].



Hippies: Just Like You or Me

Living in Flagstaff, it’s pretty hard not to think about hippies. They’re everywhere. Washing their clothes at the Laundromat, buying their groceries at the grocery store, eating their food in the restaurants. They’re practically like you or me. Did you know an ancient prophecy made by Hopi elders predicted the hippie movement of the 1960s? (Hippies...Predicted!) I don’t know if the prophecy predicted Grace Slick of Jefferson Airplane, but here is a video anyway:



This has got to be the only hit song to feature the nose as an instrument.

I went through an inexplicable stage in high school where I would only listen to Jefferson Airplane, Bob Dylan, and Cat Stevens. My hair was down to my butt and I wore tie-dyed skirts that I realize only now, ten years too late, were totally see-through.

Springfield, MO Is At It Again!


Oh, Springfield. Springfield, Springfield, Springfield. You know, in many ways, your hometown is like your family: you love it despite its painful redneckedness, despite the moldy couches and rusted refrigerators on its porches, despite its penchant for eating pickled pig ears and snake meat and similar hillbilly delicacies. You look past the fact that it chooses its politicians based solely on their stances on terrorist and baby killin’ (one’s good, one’s bad), and you just love it anyway.

Springfield, MO’s current gaffe (I’m taking back the word “gaffe” and applying it to words that aren’t Joe Biden!):

"State can't ban neo-Nazi group from program"

Several things are ridiculous about this article. Let me summarize, for those who don’t want to read the whole thing.

1. Nazis adopted a highway on the edge of town. Like, honest-to-god Nazis.
2. Since they couldn’t think of a less passive-aggressive way of preventing said Nazis from adopting said highway, the city retaliated by naming the highway after a Jewish activist and holocaust survivor, Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel. [To clarify, signs along the stretch of highway would more or less read: "Rabbi Heschel Memorial Highway," and then below that, smaller: "Brought to you by ... NAZIs!"]
3. This offended Heschel’s daughter, who says her father would not have wanted to lend his name to a highway that is being trampled by Nazis.
4. That’s all ridiculous in itself, but even MORE ridiculous is the fact that the original headline atop the article (it’s been changed now, after pages of irate comments) was: “State can’t ban socialist group from program.” As if “socialist” is a synonym for “Nazi”! Argh! Just what we need: something else erroneously tying modern socialism with the most despicable hate group of our time. Somewhere, another social program dies.

Oh, Springfield! How I simultaneously love and hate you!

Look at me, ranting again. Where does the time go? It’s nearly 7 a.m., and I was supposed to milk the cows hours ago. Have a nice day, and please tell me next time an article of my clothing is see-through!

5 comments:

  1. bob dylan isn't hippie music!! he hated hippies and everything (most things) they stood for. i haven't seen the kitty video and can't wait to get home so i can watch it. i haven't spent much time in springfeild, but after reading that artcile and your summary, i also can't wait to get home (to missouri) and visit.

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  2. That's even worse than the OJ Simpson Center for Battered Women that they tried to open in Brentwood a few years ago.

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  3. bob dylan may have hated hippies, but show me a hippie who doesn't love bob dylan!

    *edit*
    Nazis are just ONE of the most despicable hate groups of our times. The KKK is despicable, too. They also adopt stretches of MO highways.

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  4. That kitten video was so funny. I usually hate kitten on the internet, mostly because I'm alergic to them and it makes me mad since I like them.

    Nazis adopted a highway? Since when do Nazi's do good instead of evil? MO is so backwards. In MO Nazis fry latkes for blind jews on passover.

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  5. That map is sooooo inaccurate. Springfield isn't that far north! That dot is in the Clinton area. As the official cartographer of OYIT, I demand a more accurate replace that one posthaste.

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no more comments from spam bots. fuck off.

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