Jake's Favorite Posts from 2009

By Jake 

On January 4th of 2009, Glenn and I had an idea: create a blog with articles about Charles in Charge. After we each wrote one article on the subject, we quickly switched our focus from the classic family sitcom, and moved to subjects with more depth like Aerosmith, Andy Rooney and rural speeding tickets.

After the first week it was clear that this was going to be much more than a two person job. Bryan and Nate agreed to contribute. A week later Bub and Josh brought their expertise in a variety of subjects and fish puns, respectively. Soon after we played host to a slew of guest contributors who mostly didn't stick around. Two that did were Maddie and Katy who, along with Glenn, are the female voice of OYIT. Let's not forget Hot Rod, Ingrid, Gary or Mikey, who all offer an offbeat perspective of American life. With this group of creative minds joining forces we found ourselves riding high on a wave of hilarity with no wipeout in sight.

Over the course of the last year I feel like we have gained the trust of our audience, even though most of the articles are laced with salacious lies. In the first year we built a strong foundation, this year we're going to construct OYIT into more than just a blog you gave a 'thumbs down' to on StumbleUpon. With a strong core group of writers now in place and a clear vision of the future, it goes without saying that this year One Year in Texas will make us millionaires.

My Favorite OYIT articles:

What's the Deal with Monster Trucks Today? by Brad
Favorite Line: " How can this be? How can the greatest American Icon ever, Grave Digger, be driven by anyone else than Dennis Anderson? What has the American Institution of Destruction come to?"

Monster Trucks are funny. The character Brad portrays in this article is a hilarious beer guzzlin' redneck-- an everyman. I really wish Brad would contribute more often than he does, because his articles are always so funny to me.


Are You 45?: The techonological barriers of age and age-related mentality in modern America by Glenn
Favorite Line: "From there, two stars were born: Clod successfully wrote an award-winning play about how things were simpler before computers and the polio vaccine while I finally had a way to encapsulate my frustration with an older generation, its sympathizers amongst my own peer group and the mindset that resists new technology."

This article was born out of my anger at the clod in the above quote, which is mentioned in the article itself. A lot of articles are born out of my anger toward clods, actually, but this is the best of them all. Glenn tends to not write many non-Good Morning articles by himself, but when he does they're great.

Is 4 Minutes Enough for Love?: A Speed Dating Essay by Glenn
Favorite Line: "I was not alone on this adventure. Nate, from this website and my own life, was my partner-in-crime (though we did not commit any crimes unless you count breaking someone's heart or second degree assault)."

Another great article from Glenn. In this article he takes a hard-hitting stance on speed dating and by the end of the article it was us who were in love-- with Glenn.

Dissecting R. Kelly's Ignition Remix by Maddie
Favorite Line: "Kelly states this is only the preview of the remix, so I still have my fingers crossed that we will be able to hear the full remix sometime soon."

Any of Maddie's dissecting songs articles are great. Pop songs usually make no sense, making this article work so well. A very funny article about a great song.

Letters From the Rafters by Scott
Favorite Line: "Why? Why not?! That is what I say. Everything can be solved with a simple, "Why not?". Hehe!"

Scott is one of the most hilarious people I have ever met. I've known the guy since I was in fifth grade; we were on the same baseball team. I was shocked to hear that he had a correspondence with Manute Bol. Then I realized it was probably fake, but that doesn't make it less funny.

20 Things I'd Rather Do Than See Fast & Furious by Maddie
Favorite Line: "7. Run a mile (or workout in general. Or really just be “outdoors.”)"

The 20 Things I'd Rather Do article is Maddie's greatest contribution to society so far. Glenn and I both tried to write our own 20 Things I'd Rather Do article, but I think neither of them matched the greatness of one of Maddie's.

Getting Into Lady Gaga's "Poker Face" Pt. 1 by Gary
Favorite Line: "I am a Lady Gaga purist to say the least."

Gary comes and goes here on OYIT. He posts the funniest videos from YouTube, but he also writes some pretty good/weird articles. This is my favorite piece he has ever done. Although it is labeled as part 1, there was never a sequel. Did Gary get into Lady Gaga's "Poker Face" or what?

A Patriot's Guide to Vegetable by Bub
Favorite Line: "Avocado: Now, I know you’re thinking ‘what in tarnation is a tree fruit with an illegal immigrant name doing on a list of patriotic vegetables?’ The answer is this – these puppies got enough potassium in a bushel-full to assassinate ten abortionists."

Bub has written so many great articles and stories over the last year that it's hard to choose my favorites. Bub had the idea to write this article long before he sat down and wrote it. I was excited to read it from the first time I heard about it, and it fulfilled my expectations.

Job Opportunity by Bub
Favorite Line: "I like rockets and I spend money literally on a daily basis. If I could spend it quicker, say, at the speed of a rocket, it would free up so much of my time that I could spend my afternoons doing what I really want - sobbing in the graveyard."

Out of all of the reoccurring series on OYIT, Bub's Scambait series is the funniest to me. When I read them I laugh until I have tears streaming down my face like an orphaned child.

Brittany Murphy's Last Phone Call by Bub
Favorite Line: "It’s just these Golden Girls are so golden!"

Bub reimagines Brittany Murphy's final moments, which are spent watching The Golden Girls and laughing. Not a bad way to die. I get an extra laugh from this article knowing that it brought about 200 people to OYIT, who probably read this, got confused and headed over to Perez Hilton.

I hope that you'll go back and read these articles if you missed them the first time around. I don't think you'll regret it, and even if you do you're not going to leave a comment so how would I even know? I really enjoyed being a part of OYIT in 2009 and hopefully in 2010 we can continue to grow our audience. Love you guys!

7 comments:

  1. We love you too! Great recap.

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  2. awwwww. i can't w8 until we are millionaires. i want to read your wrestling GM post but if i'm on this computer for 2 more minutes i have to pay FIVE DOLLARS. when we're rich i'll be able to read it!!!

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  3. I really enjoyed reading your article. I don't usually go back and re-read the articles that I have already read but seeing them posted here reminded me of how much I enjoyed them the first time. I love this format. My favorite line is,

    In this article he takes a hard-hitting stance on speed dating and by the end of the article it was us who were in love-- with Glenn.

    You all are gonna be millionaires! Speaking of which...

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  4. Waiting 'til Saturday to do my "best of" is going to be increasingly difficult. I am now making it my mission to re-read every article on OYIT before then. Hold please.

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  5. i hate this article. once again it completely overlooks any article i've ever written. i have never been included on any of the "best of..." lists, and every single other writer on this site has multiple times! does this mean my articles are all horrible, or worse, MEDIOCRE and FORGETTABLE?!?!?!

    maybe now i'm ready to give up my spot as an OYIT contributor.

    >:(

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  6. Ingrid, they're not all in yet!!

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  7. Ingrid, I wasn't allowed to pick my own articles otherwise I would have picked our gun debate. You should write more articles because there were too many to choose from.

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