Life With Mikey [3-22-10]

By Mikey 

I'm not going to pretend that I know anything about the health care bill that passed yesterday. I do know one things: I don't want to pay for abortions. I would much pay for a Crave Case from White Castle and everybody knows that I barely like White Castle.

Popeye's Chicken is better than Popeye's Spinach.

Obama is a smooth customer.

Arsonists are cowards.

Jennifer Aniston should have her own talk show.

Nobody gives a damn about Boggle anymore. It's all Nintendo Wii this DS that.

Paula Cole's b-sides are really good.

I have no idea who Justin Bieber is, but I hear his name 30 times a day.

Whatever happened to Micro Machines? Maybe they lost business after Home Alone showed how dangerous they can be.

Applejacks are worse than nothing.

Nobody says "God bless you" when you sneeze anymore. People are probably just atheists now.

My wife makes jokes about eating liver and onions, but I doubt she would even know how to cook it. I'd try it, I guess. It couldn't be any worse than spaghetti squash.

I'm glad pirates aren't popular anymore.

Picnics are fun, but not worth the trouble.


  1. No one is asking you to pay for abortions you FUCKING IDIOT.

  2. applejacks are so good wtf! YOU'RE worse than nothing!

  3. What would you know about the character and integrity of arsonists, jerk?! You're too busy playing Boggle and eating ARBY'S to notice your fucking house is on fire!!!

  4. Mikey, this was a really hilarious Life with Mikey. Keep up the good work you boob!

  5. i'm with brandon - leave the arsonists alone!!! and what's this you've got against speghetti squash? you're really taking a dive here, mikey. a real, sharp nose dive.

  6. Pirates are going to make a stunning comeback when "Pirates of the Caribbean IV: Farewell To Orlando Bloom's Poor Acting Ability" makes its debut.