Debate: Who is the best Sex and the City character?

By Glenn and Jake 


Jake: Sex and the City is one of those TV programs that is meant for ladies and gay men, and being a little of both I naturally love it. I find it extremely difficult to choose a favorite of the ladies, because let’s face it they are all beautiful, intelligent and wittier than a website that lists Oscar Wilde quotations. They all have a distinguishable characteristic that sets them apart from the others. You have Charlotte, the virginal, innocent one; Carrie, the shoe fetishist; Kim Cattrall, the old one; and the one with red hair who is a real life lesbian. Since I am a real life virgin (as is Glenn), I will have to go with Charlotte, although she has plenty of intercourse on the program and I cannot even fathom what copulation feels like. The other ladies are hard to relate to for me. I only own two pairs of shoes, I am 27 which is somewhat young and I am not a lesbian (but not from lack of effort).

Glenn: I can already tell that this is going to be the most explosive and controversial debate we’ve had since the one about which Friends character was the most racist. Both television shows dealt with the most important issues of our time, like peeing on a jellyfish sting or peeing on someone during sex. Sex and the City’s appeal lied partly in the fact that it reflected most people’s day to day lives and that the characters were extremely compelling. Jake described these women well, as he should for having seen every episode ten times. I relate the most to Kim Cattrall because she’s older and has a strong sexual appetite. However, I think Carrie is the best person because of her love of shoes and her willingness to commit to Chris Noth aka Mr. Big, who she married in the Sex and the City movie. Call me a traditionalist, but I support man-woman marriage.

Jake: Thank you so much for ruining the SITC movie for me. You should have affixed the proper spoiler alert html tags that do not work, but rather are sarcastic and irritating.

Carrie does love shoes, this is true. It is also a reality that she is ably played by the great Sarah Jessica Parker (no relation to Peter Parker, Spider-Man’s secret identity). For my money you cannot beat Charlotte. She was married, I think, to some guy in the show though I cannot confirm that and there is no way to. She also adds a certain spice to the show that only the lesbian can also lay claim to: a strong supporting role. A normal show features Carrie doing narration, clearly making her the protagonist. Then you have Kim Cattrall who chews every scene as if she were a farmhand and the scenes were nothing but a piece of straw or cud. This is why I cannot side with either of them. Their personalities are simply too large to appreciate. Charlotte is the perfect example of a second fiddle, and since a fiddle is my favorite instrument it is only fitting that she would be my favorite character.

Glenn: I’ll apologize for ruining SATC for you if the makers of SATC2: Sex in the Persian Gulf apologize to the general public for ruining our summers. Yes, Charlotte was married and that’s fine. Kudos to her. However, Carrie is better because she is a writer, just like us. We’re literally “writing” this debate right now! As the protagonist and narrator, she has the internal monologue that we all experience on our day to day lives. Charlotte, meanwhile, is a prude whose only internal monologue is probably about Christianity or some misguided notion of Puritan ethics she got from her parents. The one played by Cynthia Nixon has red hair like me and that’s fine. Kudos to her. But if you think I’m going to support someone just because they’re like me and start hating people who aren’t like me, you must have me confused with a member of the American Right.

Jake: You bring up a very good point: Sex and the City mirrors our own reality. And why shouldn’t it? It is based in New York City, which is a real city, and it features living people. This is what makes the show so easy to identify with. It is also the reason people are always saying things like, “Oh, you are such a Samantha,” or, “Carrie would never wear those shoes.” In fact, I have said both of those things within the last 48 hours, and I said them to myself while gazing into a full length mirror.

Charlotte acts like a prude, and perhaps some would say she is prudish. Yet, I do not identify with her that way. No, I think of her as a moral person. Just because she does not go around giving up her flower like you, Glenn, does not make her a prude. She simply respects herself and is attractive enough to be picky, unlike us. You act like you are completely for a woman’s right to choose, but if a woman decides to choose a sexual partner (or not choose one) then all of a sudden you are branding them as a prude. Shame on you sir and goodbye!

Glenn: Goodbye? Where are you going? Don’t leave before this debate is over! I know you’re upset because I called Charlotte a prude, but I have a very good reason. I’m pretty sure there was an episode where she wouldn’t let her boyfriend/husband pee on her and another where she didn’t want to have sex in a public elevator. This is shocking behavior to me. Kim Cattrall’s character, on the other hand, would do ANYTHING sexually and takes on multiple partners. This does not make her a heroine, but it does provide a better model for the women in my life who won’t let me pee on them.

I guess the point here isn’t who wears the best shoes, who lets men pee on them or even who lives in the city. Those three things are true for all of us in some form, but I will circle back around and reemphasize my point that Carrie is the every-woman. While the other three characters represent some extreme form of the modern woman, Carrie is the most well-rounded and sane character who makes respectable yet adventurous sexual choices. She also wears really great shoes and enjoys the finer things in life. May Allah bless us with a third Sex and the City movie so we can see the further adventures of these four women in Muslim countries. Because we haven't done enough to ruin our relationship with the Islamic world over the past fifty years.

9 comments:

  1. They all wear great shoes Glenn! Every fucking one of them! You're like that asshole in that Nike's commercial who says, "It's gotta be the shoes." Maybe Michael Jordan is just a great b-ball player and maybe Charlotte is the Michael Jordan of SITC. I bet Carrie couldn't even dribble a basketball, much less dunk one over Dominique Wilkins.

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  2. I think this debate should have been whether it's SITC or SATC. It's probably one of the biggest questions of our time.

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  3. We try not to debate questions that can be answered via googling, with the possible exception of the one time we debated "What day is Rosh Hashanah?"

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  4. I always just assume it's Sex in the City because they are having sex in the city, but I guess the sex and the city are mutually exclusive.

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  5. Looking over my points on this debate clearly shows that I have no idea whether it's "and" or "in."

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  6. You should debate yourself, Jake!

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  7. Charlotte's prude-ish-ness stems from her hold on innocence. It's precious. She has a 12-year-olds fantasy idea of what love and marriage are, and someone requesting to piss all over her kinda ruins that. Don't hate a woman for keeping her chin up, Glenn!

    Plus, Charlotte is clearly the prettiest.

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  8. It was Carrie who didn't want to be peed on by the politician, not Charlotte, and even Carrie didn't want it. To be honest, Carrie is the prude, not Charlotte. Carrie keeps on her bra under her PJs. Who does that???

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