Untertainment Weakly (4-29-2011)

By Jaske 

The Paul Reiser Show has been cancelled. Now Paul Reiser can go back to doing what he does best: writing shitty book about having kids.

Lindsay Lohan was sentenced to jail and quickly released due to jail overcrowding. The system does, in fact, work.

Fox is planning a Zorro “reboot” set in a post-apocalyptic future. Uh...okay.

YouTube will be implementing a film rental service. Just get Netflix or, if you want glitchy videos and commercials, Hulu plus.

Universal plans on making Fast and Furious sequels, but in a Russo-esque swerve, they will not be about street racing.

Gotham Group has picked up the film rights to R.L. Stine's "It's the First Day of School...Forever!" FUCK YES! Greatest movie title ever.

Joey Lawrence has come out in support of Donald Trump’s supposed presidential run. Next to show support: Bronson Pinchot, Jaleel White and Mr. Magoo.

Jane Lynch has joined Will Sasso, Sean Hayes, and Chris Diamantopoulos in the Farrelly brothers' "The Three Stooges." This is literally the worst cast in film history.

John Aglialoro says we will probably never see the Atlas Shrugged sequels “thanks to vindictive critics.” I didn’t know that critics calling a shit movie bad was being vindictive, but there you go.

Movies Out Today
Fast Five - This is the fifth The Fast and the Furious movie, and they continue to drop words from the title. They are already planning non-car more sequels, as stated above. This movie, though, is probably filled to the brim with fucking cars going fast. Does that sound appealing to you? Personally, I don’t give a shit about cars. I’m no gearhead.

Random thought: why isn’t there a movie where people ride Razor scooters and solve crimes? Seems like that would be pretty good and has a ready-made product tie-in.

There are two kinds of people in the world: those who are going to see Fast Five in the theaters and people with IQs average or above.

Hoodwinked Too: Hood vs Evil - I have never seen Hoodwinked, but it seems like it might be race baiting. Yet, it is some sort of cartoon for children. According to the synopsis, it is about Red Riding Hood and the Wolf who wants to murder her teaming up to investigate the disappearance of Hansel and Gretel. So, I’m guessing this probably has something to do with Shrek. If that is so, expect farts and references to pop culture that will leave you blushing.

Other Thoughts
I watched a handful of really great movies this week on Netflix Instant including Yojimbo, Sanjuro, Thérèse Raquin and the very weird Alphaville. I also watched The Grudge. The Grudge is one of the most boring horror movies I have seen. Every character moves so slowly and I was never even really sure why there was even a grudge to begin with. The ending of the film offers no closure, but did set up for a sequel I will never watch.


  1. Jake once told me "It's the First Day of School...Forever!" was his favorite RL Stine novel of all time, so I understand the excitement.

  2. It is the most pschologically taxing novel RL Stine ever wrote. Imagine if you had to relieve your first day of school forever! You would probably kill yourself.

  3. It would be just like Groundhog Day. You'd know what was coming and could act out every possible scenario. School shooting, going to school naked, trying to sleep with your favorite teacher, etc.

  4. I don't even want to imagine the number of syllabi that would be handed out!

  5. Now you can read 'Letter From Alphaville'!!! http://bghbmarl55.blogspot.com/2009/02/letter-from-alphaville.html

    Yojimbo was great, even my grandpa liked it, I haven't seen Sanjuro!!!

  6. I liked Sanjuro a little bit more than Yojimbo but they are both like 10/10!