Untertainment Weakly (7-15-2011)

By Jake 

This is the actual blurb from this article from the Huffington Post entertainment news feed: “The female co-CEO of Archie Comics is accused of going on a phallic outburst in the office recently ... allegedly pointing at employees and shouting "PENIS, PENIS, PENIS, PENIS."” Amazing!

Victoria Beckham, the former singer, has given birth.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is going to star in Kim-ji-Woon English directorial debut “The Last Stand.” From the title, I would guess that it is a biopic about Christopher Reeves’ last days before his horse accident, though I would title that film “Back on the Saddle” or “The Last Ride.”

ABC Family has renewed Glenn’s favorite new show, “Melissa and Joey.”

Spike Lee is remaking the Korean film “Oldboy.” I will never see it.

Smash Mouth, the horrible band, has somehow talked fans into raising money for them to eat eggs as a shameless and pathetic publicity stunt.

The price of Netflix’s stream and DVD plan has raised in price. Stop bitching about it and just change to streaming only. If you care about watching new movies, then go to the fucking library.

Artie Lange and Nick DiPaolo are in talks to get their own raido show on DirectTV/Fox Sports Radio. I’d listen to it. I stopped listening to Howard Stern when Artie left.

Movies Out Today
Winnie the Pooh - Y’know, for kids. I don’t really know for sure, but I’m assuming this is not 3D animation like the direct to DVD remakes of many popular cartoon characters from our childhood. Smurfs, Popeye, Care Bears and, I do believe, even Winnie the Pooh himself all got that treatment. Yeah, this is a movie for kids so who really gives a shit about it? If you go see this without kids, you need therapy.

Harry and Potter and the Deathly Hollows Part 2 - Did you see part 1? Then go see this. If you haven’t, then great, watch a movie made for adults instead. My wife is going to see this next weekend. I have nothing else to say about this. The movies this week are not very fun and I apologize, but really, Hollywood should apologize.

Other Thoughts
I watched Nosferatu: Phantom der Nacht directed by Werner Herzog. It was incredibly boring, but I could see pretentious people enjoying it. I guess I am just not quite pretentious enough.