Untertainment Weakly (8-05-2011)

By Jake 

Due to popular demand, there will be an animated spin-off of “Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood” titled “Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood” about Mr. Rogers’ puppet pal.

There will be another “The Green Lantern” film that you won’t go see.

Rachel Maddow has signed a multi-year contract extension to stay on MSNBC through the elcetion.

Miley Cyrus is set to produce and star in a yet untitled film about “a broken promise to God.” Get your tickets now!

John Stamos is returning to television in “Dead Laywers,” a series for the SyFy channel.

Bubba Smith, the football player/”Police Academy” actor, has passed away. It’s the perfect time to break out your “Police Academy” DVDs and have a marathon session.

I’m not exactly sure why, but Ice-T’s wife, Coco, is constantly reported about on one of the entertainment “news” sites I use to write this article. Every time I see her name I think the article is going to be about Conan O’Brien. “Coco Gives Kim Kardashian Wedding Advice.” Hmm, what advice does Conan have for her?

There is talks of a “Sex in the City” prequel. I guess their plan is to take SITC back before they made a mockery of other cultures in SITC2 and stick to making a mockery of our own culture.

Movies Out Today
Rise of the Planet of the Apes - A whole planet of apes!? Count me out. But seriously, do we really need another remake of a Planet of the Apes movie? The Tim Burton one was one of the worst movies ever made! This one is sure to be better, but really, do you need to see it?

The Change-up - A body switching movie starring Jason Bateman and Ryan Reynolds. They have taken an interesting strategy of promoting this film: saying that it is stupid. I saw a trailer for this film before “Bridesmaids,” and it looked quite terrible. Ryan Reynolds seems to be doing his best Jason Lee. I cannot imagine the kind of person who would pay $10 to see this flick. Maybe a person with severe Down’s syndrome.

Other Thoughts
This week I made the mistake of watching “Paranormal Activity.” This film is perhaps the most overrated piece of shit film I’ve seen (or maybe “Runaways,” which was even worse!). This film is, at best, minutely creepy and, at worst, completely boring. A good fifteen to twenty minutes is spent watching people sleep! “The Blair Witch Project” is a masterpiece, comparatively.


  1. It is true: there is a lot of sleeping in Paranormal Activity, even more than in films such as Sleeping Beauty or Sleeping With the Enemy.

    I hated Planet of the Apes (2001) as much as I hated myself that year and you're right- this one does look a little better -but I implore the millions of people reading this right now: WATCH THE ORIGINALS. Or at least the first three, maybe the fourth. Don't bother with the fifth.

  2. When the first Planet of the Apes remake came out, I was sneaking into movies a lot. It was so bad that I didn't sneak into a second movie, which is easier to sneak into because you don't have to walk past the ticket taker.

  3. The changeup looks so horrible - so bad that I refuse to capitalize its name.

  4. Bub that's the same thing you said about bell hooks.


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