Untertainment Weakly (10-28-11)

By Jake

Aisha Tyler is now co-hosting “The Talk.”  She joins Sara Gilbert, Julie Chen, Sharon Osbourne and another new co-host Sheryl Underwood.

Warner Bros. has hired Drew Pearce to write “Sherlock Holmes 3.”  Is there even a second one?  Are they just skipping it?  What is going on over at Warner Bros.?

Joss Whedon made a film version of “Much Ado About Nothing” on the DL.  He just finished principle photography (that means he filmed it).

Scott Baio is set to star in Nick at Nite’s first sitcom, “Daddy’s Home.”  I’m sure this will not be terrible.

AMC has renewed “The Walking Dead” for a third season.

The Farrelly brothers want to make another “Dumb and Dumber” movie.

Patrice O’Neal suffered a stroke.  I am just assuming he suffered.

FX will air a Charlie Sheen sitcom called “Anger Management.”  Is it based on the Adam Sandler film?  Possibly.

Movies Out Today
Puss in Boots - Finally, Shrek II gets a spinoff.  Antonio Bendaras reprises his voice over roll as the titular puss (“Titular Puss” would be a good name for an all-girl garage band).  This is what the world has been waiting for, but are we ready?  I’ll let you know when the box office receipts come in.  See this movie if you enjoy things that take place 300 years ago but make references to things that took place 15 years ago.

In Time - Justin Timberlake stars as a watchmaker who cannot find the time to find love.  Or it’s about some kind of dystopian future set in a PG-13 world.  Either way, are you actually going to see this?  I know that I am not.

The Rum Diary - Johnny Depp stars as not Hunter S. Thompson in this adaptation of one of Hunter S. Thompson’s novels.  Also, Terry Gilliam does not direct this film.  So why are people telling you that it’s going to be like “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas”?  Probably because they are on drugs.  People who are on drugs are usually out of the loop, except for on the subject of ridiculous slang to call drugs.

Other Thoughts
Last week I tried to be nice.  I tried to justify my anger/negativity.  It was a much less popular article than the week before.  This week, I’m going to be negative to a fault.

Top 10 Things I Hate This Week
1. People who hate “Whitney.”  It’s the best show on TV.
2. The Office.  I get it, you’re at work.
3. T-shirts with TV characters’ catch phrases
4. Coldplay
5. Nickleback
6. Carmen Sandiego.  Nobody is looking for you anymore, bitch.
7. People obsessed with bacon.  It’s annoying and you’re going to die sooner than I am.
8. The movie “Clue.”  It’s a bad movie.
9. The “Shrek” series of movies including “Puss in Boots.”
10. Making this fucking top 10 list.  Why did I even do it?  It wasn’t fun to do and nobody is going to enjoy it.  

6 comments:

  1. Calling Whitney the best show on TV is, hands down, the most offensive thing you have ever said on this site, including the Firefox tip article, the one about Jeffrey Jones and the one where you talked about where David Goldstein spent the day on 9/11 since he knew not to go to work.

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  2. I was just baiting people! But I do like that show (to a degree). It doesn't belong on Thursday, but it is somewhat enjoyable. Plus, I just took me baiting you about Whitney being the best show on TV on chat and translated it over to this article.

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  3. I know and readers love a controversy so I think this will be the biggest article in Untertainment Weakly history!

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  4. I certainly hope so! I'm hoping my "Clue" baiting with have people up in arms, too. That movie is really terrible.

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  5. Oh and I meant to say I love Sara Gilbert too! I've watched over 20 minutes of that awful TV show she is on just to see her talk about some inane bullshit.

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  6. John Candy's GhostMarch 2, 2012 at 3:41 PM

    hey i loved bacon when i was alive and now look where i am today

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