By Bobby Langston
liberal/scientist set has locked its sights on interplanetary matters
once again. The United States has been embroiled in a debate about
whether Pluto is actually a planet or merely a dwarf planet.
Are we going to sit idly by while these anti-Pluto activists thumb their nose at the vast beyond which we call space? No, we are going to rally behind this great planet in solidarity and show these leftist rats that you cannot mess with our universe.
Let me tell you right here, once a planet always a planet. You do not
walk into a Planet Hollywood and tell Jackie Chan that the restaurant is
being reclassified as Dwarf Planet Hollywood. Mr. Chan would kick a
bar stool at you, and he would be right in doing so. Planet Hollywood is a fine restaurant with fine owners. None of which would disagree with Pluto being a planet.
planet liberals are always trying to mix up outer space for the regular
folks like you and me. They want us to keep our laws off of their
bodies, well I want them to keep their hands off of my planets. Pluto
is my favorite interstellar body, and whether you downgrade its
classification or not will not change my mind.
has brought me joy like knowing that the planet Pluto is up in the sky.
I know that it’s not necessarily part of Christian dogma, but I
believe that Jesus Christ lives there in a mansion. And why would he
not? Do you think that Jesus is not able to afford a Plutonian mansion?
Your liberal ignorance has me laughing like you laugh at a Michael
Moore movie or Margaret Cho’s brand of socialist propaganda.
is not only the little planet that could, it is also the namesake of a
very famous cartoon dog. When a child watches a Disney cartoon, are we
to tell them that the dog “Pluto” is named after a dwarf planet? That
is laughable. If Walt Disney named one of his characters after a
planet, then a planet it shall remain.
liberals have sent their foot soldiers to Washington, D.C., in order to
make sure that Pluto is never considered a planet. What gets me about
these left-wing nutjobs is how they want change, no matter what the
subject of the change happens to be. What is the point? How is
everything not already as great as it is going to get? It seems
downright un-American. These leftist anti-Pluto socialist un-patriots
have me at my boiling point--and I’m steaming, Jack.