Untertainment Weakly (2-17-12)

By Jake

Dreamworks is planning on remaking Alfred Hitchcock’s “Rebecca.”  Paramount is remaking “Suspicion.”

Whitney Houston is dead.

Jennifer Aniston and Dennis Quaid join the “Jackie Brown” prequel.

The script is done for the “Friday Night Lights” movie.

VH1 is answering our prayers for a Jenny McCarthy talk show.

Emma Watson will star in Guillermo del Torro’s “Beauty and the Beast.”  If it’s anything like “Blade II” then I’m in.

Steven Spielberg is bringing us “Tintin 2,” even though it sort of bombed in America.  It was pretty good, though.

Kermit the frog, a puppet, has promised a sequel to “The Muppets.”  If you can’t trust a frog puppet, who can you trust?

Billy Bob Thornton says that “Bad Santa 2” will film this fall.

Rest easy, Michael Bay will direct “Transformers 4,” which will be a reboot.

Movies Out This Weekend
Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance - This is the most unnecessary sequel of 2012--so far.  It will probably be overtaken next week by some piece of shit sequel to “Cabin Fever” or something.  “Ghost Rider: SoV” is the story of a ghost who is on fire and rides a motorcycle.  This movie is directed by the “Crank” guys.  So maybe it will be fun, but it is very doubtful.  I hope nobody sees this, even if I would like to see a third “Crank” movie...speaking of unnecessary sequels.

This Means War - This is some sort of spy romantic comedy.  Reese Witherspoon is the lead and Chelsea Handler plays her friend.  Handler is an absolutely terrible actress.  She guest starred on my favorite show, “Whitney,” and was horrible.  Best friends fight over the beautiful Reese Witherspoon as the men and women in the audience masturbate vigorously.

Other Thoughts
I’m going to give a podcast recommendation for “The Todd Glass Show.”  It is a very absurd show, and very funny.  There’s a very good two-part episode with Paul F. Tompkins, the king of podcast guests.  Glass will jump in and out of bits, he’ll go back and repeat them just to add a button on.  It’s very silly.  I also recommend the newest episode of “Comedy Bang Bang” with Don’t Stop or We’ll Die.  I laughed so hard.


  1. This Means War looks worse than an actual war!!!

  2. You now have gone beyond saying Whitney is the "best new show on TV," where the comparison is shit like 2 Broke Girls and the Tim Allen misogynist show to saying it is your FAVORITE show. I predict readership of this article will TANK.

    Also, Whitney Houston is NOT dead.

  3. Haha, if people don't know that is a joke then they don't know shit! I do like it somewhat, though. Kal really likes it.

    Bub's comment is hilarious.

  4. Bub's comment is funnier than the series finale of W*I*N*G*S*