Untertainment Weakly (3-30-12)

By Jake

FX is in talks with the Coen brothers to adapt their hit film “Fargo” into a TV series.

Jason Alexander is guesting on “Two and a Half Men.”  

Camile Grammar has quit “Real Housewives,” which makes sense because she is divorced.

Justin Lin is attached to a “Lone Wolf and Cub” remake.

Michael Bay will be ruining another one of your childhood favorites, he’s making “Ninja Turtles.”

Netflix will not be saving “Terra Nova.”

Lindsay Lohan will be guest starring on an episode of “Glee.”

Will Ferrell announced “Anchor Man 2.”

Jaleel White has been accused of abuse by the mother of his 2-year-old child.  When reached for comment, White asked, “Did I do that?”

Michelle Obama will be on the makeover and reunion episode of “The Biggest Loser.”

In the most ridiculous news of the week, MTV2 is going to make a new version of “Hollywood Squares” called “Hip Hop Squares.”

“Community” won NBC’s Thursday night in ratings for the second week in a row, this week it was up against “Big Bang Theory,” which is Thursday’s most popular and worst show.

There’s rumors of a “Twins” sequel in the works where Eddie Murphy would join Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny Devito.  Terrible shit.

There’s a fifth “Child’s Play” film in the works.

Elizabeth Banks is returning to “30 Rock” as Alec Baldwin’s wife.

Fox has ordered another season of “Bones.”

Matthew Perry Watch

Check out this picture Matthew Perry tweeted this week:

Movies Out This Weekend

Mirror Mirror - This is the first of two “Snow White” movies being released this year.  This one stars the elderly, plastic-faced Julia Roberts as the wicked witch and Lilly Collins as Snow White.  This movie is sure to be awful, and the people seeing it are as terrible as the movie.  Save your money for the Kristen Stewart Snow White movie, it at least looks better than this shit.

Wrath of the Titans - Did you see “Clash of the Titans”?  If you did then there is no fucking way you will see this piece of shit unless your brain is scrambled like the eggs I ate for breakfast for dinner last night.  If you see this film you do not deserve to live on the same planet as those who do not.

Movies I Watched This Week

Harakari 9/10

The Hunger Games 8/10

Adventureland 6/10

The Owl and the Sparrow 8/10

All About Eve 10/10

That Obscure Object of Desire 7/10

Strangers with Candy 5.5/10

Throne of Blood 8.5/10

Untouchables 6/10

Tell No One 8/10

The Howling 5/10

Martha Marcy May Marlene 6.5/10

Song of the Week