Our Take with Sara and Jake (Wind and 9/11 Truth)

By Sara and Jake

In Our Take with Sarah and Jake, we will be giving our meandering opinions on the most pressing, hot button issues of the day, from politics to religion to Abe "Knuckleball" Schwartz going on strike. We're like the film "Robocop," half-man, half-machine, all cop.


Sarah: Today it is a very windy day. I don’t like this. The constant swooshing noises and blowing trees is an agonizing sound that makes me think a giant oak is about to fall through my window. I would only like this if I were sailing out on the ocean or a large lake, because the boat needs wind to move. Even then, though, I would probably get a little peeved as my hair whipped around my face making it impossible to see anything. My eyes might get destroyed as the wind flicked my hair into them and out of them repeatedly. I bet the Pilgrims loved wind because it helped them get to America on those giant sailing ships. They might frown on my take when it comes to wind. I don’t feel badly though because the Pilgrims were not kind to Native Americans.

Also, wind makes any day colder. This can actually be nice when it’s 95 degrees outside and humidity makes it an odd 100. However, this weather issue is so much worse in the winter. Windchill is one of the scariest words in the human language. Anything that comes after the word ‘windchill’ in a sentence is bad news. I also heard Chicago is called the “Windy” City because its politicians are so windy (full of hot air). In any case, Chicago is not significantly windier than any other US city (Wikipedia). The bottom line is, unless wind is helping me get somewhere, I could go without it.

Jake:  As I am tapping away at my keyboard, forming ideas into words and words into sentences, gusts of wind are rustling the trees.  The ambient noise it creates is very soothing.  If I was a spiritual man, I would meditate and worry about my actions.  Since I am not, I merely sit back, putting a Cuban cigar to my lips, and enjoy the noise.

What is better than a nice breeze or a gust of wind on a warm summer day?  There are plenty of things I could list, but wind is still pretty great.  The sweet relief from the harsh summer heat is a joy I will never take for granted.  Yet, too much wind is awful.  For instance, a tornado is too much wind.  Even the artificial wind of a fan is wonderful.  I cannot fall asleep lest a fan is running.  That is most likely a product of my tinnitus, but I would like to think it just makes me a wind enthusiast.

Things wind can do: power our iMacs, allow us to see Marilyn Monroe's underwear, improve or ruin our hairstyle, co-star in a hilarious Buster Keaton comedy bit and all us to hang glide better.

9/11 Truth

Jake:  Public Enemy once claimed that “9-11 is a Joke.”  Chuck D was rapping about the telephone number not answering the calls for help of black citizens, but he may as well have been claiming that 9/11 is a conspiracy.  Chuck D is a 9/11 truther.  I am not, though I do enjoy some of Public Enemy’s songs.

I believe that the attacks of September 11, 2001, were what the government told us.  A bunch of arabs driving some planes into buildings that represented American excess and commerce.  George W. Bush knowing about the attacks while reading a story to grade schoolers and not doing anything is consistent with his run as president.  He was terrible.  I hate him.  I also hate 9/11 truthers, but not with as much vigor.

Is cynicism healthy?  I’m not sure.  I think it’s okay to question things in the world, but you can do that without turning into Daria.  Why spend all of your energy questioning everything?  It has to be exhausting.  It is hard enough for me to question the motives of Vince Russo during late period WCW.  I cannot imagine how much energy and anger is burnt by 9/11 truthers and birthers.

Sarah:  Well, we could accept the facts our government tells us about the horrific events of 9/11 or we could join a conspiracy theorist and believe our government was responsible for everything. For example: The government did it. They killed everyone so they could go to war with the people’s support! Where’s the rest of the plane that hit the PENTAGON, HUH?! The flight attendants were in on it, too! Bush told all the attendants this was the best way to get back at a nagging public who didn’t respect no carry-on guidelines!!! All those flight attendants are not even dead!! They are living on an island like on LOST!

I’m tired. The only true thing I know about 9/11 is that I was in freshman band class that morning. I was cleaning out the spit from my clarinet when Principal McCormick came on the morning announcements to tell us about planes crashing into buildings. Back then, I felt a connection to the events because I had eaten dinner the year before at a restaurant on one of the top floors of the WTC. Now, I feel a connection to the events whenever I see 9:11 on a clock or read about foreign policy. I quit band after freshman year. Clarinet sucks and THAT is the truth!!!!


  1. Lol! I expected that drastic turn against clarinets less than I expected Mohammed Atta to be involved in terrorist activities (we co-wrote a pamphlet in our flight school days called 'Learning to Fly Planes into Buildings for Terrorism Purposes', I thought it was a brilliant satire of vocational education in America.)!! I would rather let 100 Mohammed Attas slip through the cracks than turn into Daria though!!!

  2. *I* had eaten dinner the year before at Windows on the World at the top of the WTC. Perhaps we were there at the same time, planning 9/11 with agents from the Mossad and never even knew it?

  3. Sarah is so much younger than me!


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