Help Me become Dr. Heather

By Heather Joy

One Year in Texas will always be an unsightly blemish upon my permanent record. I will most likely pick at it profusely until it leaves a severe scar rendering me unrecognizable as the person I once was. Yet, I also believe that OYIT is capable of good things too! I am trying to churn out a publishable paper for an academic journal in sociology, but I will need your guys' help on specific topic. Peruse through the following ideas and let me know what you think!


Mulatto: Ice Cream Flavor or Pejorative? The Art of Appropriating Lost Words.

Kermit the Frog, Miss Piggy, and way too much PDA: Strategies of Inter-Species Dating among Chubby Chasers and Plumpers

But I have a MAC!: The Limits of PC Language within a Fraternity Setting

"No Homo" and Misplaced Anxiety: Rappers and the lil' Dick Phenomenon

Public Perceptions of Assertive Women in Politics; Or, Hilary didn't lose because she's a woman, she lost because she's a man!

Thesis schmeesus

But I was Sleep-Walking!: Even MORE Ridiculous Justifications of Rape. Like, really guys? WTF.

Sarcasm as a Compensation Strategy among Young Women with Low Self-Esteem… Because I really do give a flying fuck.

From Ghetto to Grotto: The 99 Other Problems that Plague Jay-Z , such as outdoor plumbing.

What's with all these FB Notes? And, I don't have time for this shit!: The Newest Trend on Facebook that is Equally Self-Indulgent and Pedestrian

12 comments:

  1. I would read any of these papers, especially one that would delve into the 99 Problems that plague Jay-z. His song only indicates that his bitch is not a problem, but never delves into what his problems happen to be.

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  2. And also begs the question - How is it that Beyonce is not be a problem?

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  3. i vote "But I was Sleep-Walking!: Even MORE Ridiculous Justifications of Rape. Like, really guys? WTF."!

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  4. But I have a MAC!: The Limits of PC Language within a Fraternity Setting

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  5. Field study: submit "Mulatto" as a flavor idea at Sparky's and gauge its reception.

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  6. all of these should be OYIT articles. however,

    "Kermit the Frog, Miss Piggy, and way too much PDA: Strategies of Inter-Species Dating among Chubby Chasers and Plumpers"

    will certainly appeal to academic elitists who daily struggle with beastial temptations.

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  7. Beth, you are definitely onto something...

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  8. Public Perceptions of Assertive Women at OYIT; Or, Heather Joy doesn't need a Ph.D., she needs a man to inflate her low self-esteem!!!

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  9. Rick voted for: Sarcasm as a Compensation Strategy among Young Women with Low Self-Esteem… Because I really do give a flying fuck.
    surprise, surprise


    i think my favorite has to be:
    "No Homo" and Misplaced Anxiety: Rappers and the lil' Dick Phenomenon


    this just in, in the 2006-2007 academic year 5,129 students in Missouri were paddled in public school as a form of punishment. (PolSc 2100)

    maybe that should be considered towards your search.

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  10. Heather, is it weird that I always find your writing wildly amusing, but also dispiriting in a "too real" kinda way?

    (BTW I vote for Mulatto. Not as a thesis but as an ice cream flavor. Somebody call Ben&Jerry!)

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  11. I vote for pie...

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