Life with Mikey [4-13-09]

By Mikey

Howdy folks. I just got back from my annual vacation to a dude ranch in Texas. It was a good time. I learned how to drive cattle like in the movie City Slickers. My wife got annoyed with me because I called every cow "Norman."


  • Try as I might, I can't figure out what's going on this season of Lost. Personally I prefer shows you can miss a few episodes and still enjoy, like Everybody Loves Raymond.

  • Am I the only one who longs for the days of lemonade stands? Country Time Lemonade is a real thirst-quencher, but when I was a kid we'd pick some lemons off a tree and go into business. Business usually lasted until we drank all the product.

  • It seems like nobody is talking about the Houston Rockets anymore.

  • Mr. Magoo is blind-- I get it, okay!

  • The XFL died a premature death, in my humble opinion.

  • If you serve me mashed potatoes and don't give me gravy, prepare for me to scream.

  • When I heard Arby's added the Roastburger to their menu, I had to check the calender to make sure it wasn't my birthday. It wasn't.

  • Mountain Dew's Code Red is like mother's milk to me.

  • People usually forget how funny Michael Winslow's stand-up comedy is. They usually just remember him from his fantastic performances in the Police Academy films.

  • When my son tells me "the last time I heard that I fell off my dinosaur" I feel like I'm going to turn into the Incredible Hulk and hurl his stupid scooter into the sun.

  • It was amazing how fast parachute pants went out of style.

  • You'll never catch me jumping on the Twilight bandwagon.

  • Would anybody else go see a movie about the Noid? I don't mean to be living in the 80s, but that guy was really cool even if he did hate pizzas.

  • Seems like everybody who sends me an email wants to send me money these days.

  • I'm not a big fan of Tupac's rapping, but his performance in Poetic Justice is very moving.

7 comments:

  1. You need to learn to be more patient with your son, Mikey.

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  2. Mikey you should get on the Twilight bandwagon. Fellow OYIT writer Maddie has read all the books and always tells me how great they are.

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  3. Kaleena has also read all of the Twilight books.

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  4. i have FUCKING NEVER READ THE FUCKING TWILIGHT BOOKS. I BET YOU'VE SEEN THE MOVIE GLENN, WHICH IS MORE THAN I CAN EVEN SAY.

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  5. Glenn was too busy watching the Traveling Pants Sister 2 to see Twilight.

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  6. Mikey, if you dont like mashed potatoes without gravy, never play in a band with Billy Bob Thornton in Canada.

    Also, one of my friend's dad growing up was a Dominoes Pizza manager and he had a Noid suit. It was great! I would go see that movie with you.

    ReplyDelete
  7. i thought canadians loved gravy? hmmm....
    the twilight books are wonderful and i am not ashamed to love them.
    maybe you SHOULD hurl your son's scooter to the heavens and shut that little punk up! just don't hit him with it - that's abuse.

    ReplyDelete

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