Local Business Showcase: Futuristic Thai

By Bub 

Welcome to Futuristic Thai.

Futuristic Thai is a family style restaurant that serves the palette’s desire for authentic Thai cuisine, and humankind’s wish to know what the future holds in store.

If you have a thirst that only knowledge of the future can quench, have a seat at our battery bar - Minnesota’s first and only full alcoholic bar made out of batteries – while you wait for your table. In the future many things that today are made out of various familiar materials will be made out of batteries. And the slight electric charge emitted by our battery stools will keep you ‘going and going…’ just like that pink bunny who will one day serve as president.

At Futuristic Thai, we set the tone right. In the future, everyone will be millionaires. As you are escorted to your dinner tables you will be literally showered with Thai currency by our house Thai millionaire. No paper napkins here, what is this, the 21st century? Only million dollar bills will be used to wipe things from your body at Futuristic Thai. At Futuristic Thai you will be given a giant pet lizard as will be the fashion three hundred years from now. This lizard is welcome to chew on money scraps or warm its belly on one of our oversized batteries while you enjoy your meal.

For dinner choose from Minnesota’s widest array of authentic Thai cuisine with futuristic influences and attitude. The grains used to make our Drunken Noodles have been genetically modified to be able to actually ingest alcohol to excess causing cellular damage. Try our Millionaire Pad Thai made with strips of giant pet lizard meat, spring onions and topped with chopped million dollar bills and fresh squeezed lime juice. Our House Special is Laksa Soup. Unlike contemporary Laksa recipes, our fish balls contain no fish at all. Instead you will find the most exclusive futuristic ingredients – money paste, coriander and chopped peanuts - stuffed inside a battery casing. This dish will make you feel warm and comfortable. ‘Just like Mom used to make, when she made Laksa Soup three hundred years in the future.’

So if you’re hungry and you are yearning to experience the joys of a simpler lifestyle in a simpler time; if you want to trade in your workaday cares for a house made out of batteries, a giant pet lizard, and millions of dollars worth of delicious Thai food; make it Futuristic Thai.


  1. how great must futuristic thai be when already-present thai is so amazing? thank you for showing all us suicidals what we indeed have to live for or be chriogenically frozen for.

  2. I already like Thai food but I think Thai food with a futuristic bent to it might be enough for me to finally time travel.

  3. am i dreaming, or has this been posted before?? why does this seem so familiar? it's gr8 nonetheless.

  4. It's OLD! You are out of the email meeting loop!!


no more comments from spam bots. fuck off.

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.