Bobby Langston Blasts...Baby Killing

By Bobby Langston 

Ever since I went through my conformation ceremony I have been confronted with a certain type of far left wacko-- the pro-choicer. These baby killing miscreants have me at my wit's end. They argue that women have the right to choose. You better ask my wife about that one. The only choice she has is whether to buy Dawn or Palmolive, and that's only because I have no idea which is better.

Democrats think a fetus is nothing more than a lump of cancerous waste that should be evacuated like a submarine that has just been hit with a Cold War torpedo. They are moving us toward a Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome-like dystopia. I don't want to have to fight inside of a cage for my God-given right to fuel my Porsche with high-grade gasoline. I don't want my beautiful wife to have a coat hanger forced inside her, turning our pre-born baby into scrambled eggs. This is not the right path for America, but don't try to tell that to these pro-abortion liberals.

These liberal fruitcakes are the worst. They want our taxes high and our babies dead. They don't stop for one second to think about the how to better the country, they're only looking out for the Democratic party. They think praying in school is worse than murder. Can you believe that-- murder! Maybe these loonies should get on their knees and pray to find the love of Jesus Christ, the lord. Instead they pray to abortion doctors, who are in turn too busy turning babies into smoothies to care about the prayers. My God never ignores my prayers!

My pals the tea baggers know how to get the job done. The only way to beat these baby murderers is to confront them and play their game. If the only way to get the message through an abortionist's head is to write it on a bullet and pull the trigger, then so be it. You can't head over to Uganda and expect them to understand you, you have to speak their language. That's all we're doing. It's like the Bible says, "eye for an eye."

Scott Roeder had a good head on his shoulders, but the democrats wanted to lop it off, but it in a box and send it-- as a gift-- to the king of communist China. These liberals think China is so great. When I see one on the street drinking a Jamba Juice or eating a sno-cone, I always walk up to them and say, "Hey jerk, if you love China so much why don't you go live there?" This usually leaves them speechless, and hopefully considering the big move. If you can't kill your problem or force it to leave the country, then I guess I'm not a problem solver.


  1. This is the first OYIT article to mention Scott Roeder. That will change when he takes over the Good Morning article for Nate starting next week.

  2. I know we want to widen the ideological spectrum of the writers on this site, but I'm not sure this is the way to do it.

  3. that's what you get for giving the tea party a chance - pictures of dead babies and rants that last FOREVER!!!

  4. Why does that guy's pro-life sign have a picture of pastrami on it?

  5. "My God never ignores my prayers!" then why did OBAMA GET ELECTED?? ignorant asshole.

  6. As a liberal, I get down on my knees quite often, but never to pray. I also eat a bowl of Embry-O's every morning. Also, let's not make Scott Roeder a martyr nor compare him to John the Baptist.

  7. I was a little baffled after reading the last paragraph, having confused Scott Roeder with Dennis Rader (as there's been so much OYIT behind the scenes Dennis Rader talk of late).

    The idea of liberals as sno-cone eaters is really great. Thanks Bobby for keeping our babies safe - with guns!!

  8. Baby smoothies sound delicious.


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